by Teresa Yanaros, April 10, 2020
Analysis Yields Synthesis
My recent threads of spiritual integration have been extremely disorienting lately.
I know that sounds counterintuitive. Honestly, I thought integration would feel like becoming whole. But I guess I’m at that stage before that wholeness sets in. Because what’s happening now is that with these new huge realizations and integrations of thoughts and philosophies, it’s breaking down false aspects of myself as I’m being called back home.
My inner temple has felt so uncomfortable for so long. Almost as though I was a visitor inside my own skin. But everything seems to be moving back into alignment and zeroing in on me and I’m not sure where the seatbelt is or what to hold onto.
I guess you could say, I’m in the analysis phase of transformation, and parts of those intellectual realizations are being integrated on a soul level, thus leading my eternal self along the bridge toward synthesis. What a transformational journey so far.
The False Self
The false self can mean many things to different people. For me, it’s this person that I think I am but I’m actually not. This is based on what others perceive, and what they project onto me and I accept, thinking that they know better.
I’ve come to my senses so many different times and, multidimensionally, it has brought me to my knees on multiple occasions.
The truth is, the false self is what causes fear to creep in and consume us because we start to listen to the voices of lies. The voice that tells us we aren’t enough. The voice that tells us that we should be ashamed of who we are. The voice that tells us we aren’t worthy of love. These voices, if we listen to them, draw us out and lure us into the illusion. We start to believe that the lie is true.
The Lie is Revealed
At some point, the cracks begin to show. The illusion is revealed for what it is. A lie. A falsity. And in that larger supernatural lie exists our false self.
We stop following unconscious programming. Something shifts inside of us, and we feel as though we are waking up into a new reality. On a quantum level, we are being activated and begin the path toward inner healing and growth.
Rejecting the lie initiates the journey back home, to your authentic self.
What is the Authentic Self?
This is the pure soul connection to your creator. The you that surrenders to all that is, that knows that you are divinely protected and guided, and that you are tethered to the divine love that creates and sustains you, through life, death, and metamorphosis. This is Christ who lives in you.
That transformation for me right now is occurring within multiple dimensions of the destruction of the false self, layer by layer, mirror image by mirror image.
So many things I thought were black and white are actually a divine shade of grey.
Trauma can cause you to take all the progress you’ve made in accepting divine shades of grey, and cast you down into black and white thinking. When you are confronted by a trauma, you are forced into survival mode, and the only way to make sense of data (because you aren’t in logical thinking mode, but instead in emotional reaction mode) is to color everything black and white.
For me, after being faced with betrayal, hatred, physical danger, physical trauma, and a slew of other intense circumstances all at once, I had cowered in fear away from everything. You start to think you are being divinely punished, and then you start to feel like you actually deserve to be hated. I fell into a deep mental lockdown of inner self-hatred, guilt, shame, fear, and despair.
Just recently, I came to realize the “me” I thought I had to hate because it was “evil” wasn’t evil at all. That was me listening to the lie trying to convince me to descend into a fear-based mindset, to latch onto lower consciousness mindsets of us versus them, to drag me down into the depths of fear, despair, and self-hatred, and ultimately, to convince me to reject my soul path and authentic nature.
This realization is refracting outwards into so many different facets of myself, that it’s breaking down so many of those “false self” voices, and rendering them mute. The thoughts once plaguing my head are now silent. In its place, I am starting to question the origin of these voices, and dive into the circumstances around each one and how I came to accept and own these false voices. That exercise is dredging up uncertainty around certain instances of me accepting things as true.
When we start to let other people convince us of who we should be, how we should feel, what we should think, even if (and at times especially if) they say it’s for our own good, they likely have an agenda (even if it’s an unconscious one). This could even just mean it’s serving their ego to get you to buy into what they believe to be true.
You have a direct connection to God inside you.
So many things of this world (one could argue all the things of this world) are paradoxes that are reconciled through love. And love is a power that transcends duality, accepts ignorance and transmutes it into coherence.
This is spiritual alchemy.
I’m in a purge of letting go.
I will continue to die every moment and lean into genesis.
About The Author
Teresa Yanaros, a journalist and published author, inspires thousands with uplifting thoughts and perspectives through her multi-media project Divine Frequency. A spiritual seeker and researcher, Teresa leverages her professional certification in life coaching and degree in journalism to assist awakening souls to accept their own personal spiritual connection, avoid spiritual traps, to ground into self-acceptance and divine exchange, and to bring their own unique soul gifts into the world.